I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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