Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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