If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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