Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
