That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
