I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
