They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
