Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
