but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You've changed since you got that strap on
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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