It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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