I hate your face
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize