we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
