I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
