Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
