a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
