Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
