You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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