I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
