just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
