If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
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