Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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