Can i not drive my cunt home
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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