I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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