Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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