Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
