Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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