the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize