my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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