We're facebook friends in real life
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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