I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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