haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
