Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize