the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize