I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
