If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
