this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
