one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
