like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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