yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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