OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I pour the whiskey from now on
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
