What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize