Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
