He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You smell like stripper and shame
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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