i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
