I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize