sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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