This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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