Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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