i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
