Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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