whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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