Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
