ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How does one acquire holy water?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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