is wine microwaveable?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
