It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
