I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Come see our sink grown plant.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
