grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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